When Madison emailed me for pay raise advice, she described her waiting scenario:
Almost two years ago, I was hired as an Accounts Receivables Manager for a property management company. I never received, nor asked for, a performance review, thinking it would naturally occur. I am past my year and a half mark, and I now believe that I am underpaid for the value of my work…
Here’s a small challenge for you: can you spot Madison’s pay raise missteps? You caught them, right?
“I never received, nor asked for, a performance review, thinking it would naturally occur.”
This delay is costing Madison income, especially since she seems to also have salary market value issues to address, as well. (I guided her toward the steps she needed to take.)
Are you still waiting for your pay raise because of an overdue performance review?
Chances are, you work for a manager who doesn’t keep on schedule with reviews. I know I’ve had managers like that over the years, especially at smaller employers. It’s easy for busy bosses to stall them.
It’s also easy for women to be passive about pay and wait (and wait) for a busy boss to initiate the meeting.
Recognize that waiting is a form of avoidance, and avoidance reflects your discomfort with asking—asking for the performance review meeting and asking for the raise.
This behavior, researchers say, stems from women’s fear that asking for something they want may harm the relationship with the person they need to ask.
So if you’re nervous about making these requests, it’s not your fault; strong social forces influence women’s behavior related to asking for something. And avoidance is often the behavior of choice.
Sound familiar? Does this give you a better understanding of why you might be under-earning?
Yes, it’s a gender thing. So if you’ve been chiding yourself about not negotiating salary the way you “should” have, please be gentle with yourself.
Instead, give yourself credit for taking the initiative to learn how to do it differently in the future by tapping into Pay Raise Prep School for Women.
My Pay Raise Process℠ framework—Build Your Case, Build Your Custom Plan, Build Your Confidence to Ask—will strengthen Madison’s position and help her conquer avoidance.
There are lots of ways to tame anxiety about asking. For example, having a sense of control eases anxiety and improves negotiated outcomes. Role-playing the pay raise request before meeting with your manager is a proven way to gain that sense of control. Rehearse your opening lines and your replies to the objections you expect.
That’s just one approach. There are others which are covered in the Ready to Ask Master Class online training here at Pay Raise Prep School for Women.
PS: If it’s been well over a year since your last pay raise, you could ask for a combination of different types of raises to get a sizable raise—if you’re well-prepared to ask. (It's a tactic covered in this 8-minute training video.) If you've been waiting that long, take action now.